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4 Secrets to a Happy Marriage

My husband and I have been married for 22 years.

And the most frequently asked question we get from friends is how do we stay sweet and loving all these years, such that we don't look like we've been married all that long?

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Let me share with you our 4 secrets…

Secret Number 1 - "I was wrong, I am sorry, please forgive me..."

Being the youngest in the family, I am naturally sensitive and emotional . I will just keep quiet whenever I feel upset, or I will burst into tears if I try to speak.

My loving husband who knows me so well will notice it immediately when I suddenly keep quiet.

Instead of merely ignoring me, he will hold me and say these nine words, “I was wrong, I am sorry, please forgive me”, making me feel much better.

So every time he senses that I get unusually quiet, even though he does not really know what wrong he has done to make me upset, he will hold me and say, “I was wrong, I am sorry, please forgive me”.

But sometimes, too absorbed in what he is trying to say, he does not notice when I get unusually quiet.

So I have to prompt him to say sorry to me. His eyes will roll with wonder, and he will hold me, saying “Was I wrong? I am sorry, please forgive me”.

Of course, after I am appeased, I will tell him what he did that made me feel upset and give him a chance to explain.

Secret Number 2 - ASKMA

My husband and I never make any important decisions without consulting each other.

He is an askmatic. Yes he has chronic askma!

Whenever our children ask him for a permission to go somewhere or do something he will answer them with “ASKMA-mmy”.

That means he is fine with it but they have to seek my approval first.

When friends invite us for something, his reply will be “Let me ASKMA wife“.

Being together for many years, I realized I have also acquired that disease.

Every time friends invite me, I will answer them with “Let me ASKMA husband first”!

Secret Number 3 - Small things are big things

As part of our morning routine, Boy and I will exchange wedding rings as we each say, "Wear this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life." And then we will kiss like when we just married.

We have this illusion of being newly-married, keeping the flame of romance burning just as when we were in our honeymoon stage.

During the day, we exchange phone messages or call each other to check what we had for lunch.

We kiss and say "I love you" before we part our ways, before we hang up the phone, or end a text message and before we sleep, without fail.

And not to forget our trademark, we hold hands when we're together. Always!

In a marriage, small things are big things!

Secret Number 4 - Pray together

In the morning, before he goes to work we lay hands on each other’s head and ask God to bless and guide us as we go on our own activities for the day.

When we have released each other into the hands of God, we can go about our day feeling secure, trusting that we can handle everything that will come our way.

In the evening, we pray together to thank God for all the blessings we received for that day and we ask Him to continue to bless our marriage so that our love for each other will grow stronger each day.

A successful marriage is not just about finding the right person to be your spouse, BUT by being the right person yourself, who will win over your spouse without a word spoken, by the way you behave, when he sees the reverence and purity of your way of life! (1 Peter 3:1-2)

May God bless your marriage to be an image of God's love to everyone!


About the author 

Rhodora "Doods" Jader Fetalvero

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