When friends ask me how we keep a sweet and happy marriage despite the many years of marriage, I challenge them with this answer, "try very hard to be a Proverbs 31 wife!".
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This month of July, Boy & I celebrate 22 years of wedded bliss!
Here's how I do it, in return to Boy's overly protective and thoughtful caring and loving gestures for me.
1. Keep a Calm Disposition
A wife should know her role as a helpmate who supports her husband to fulfill his duty as the head of the family. Her speech and manners should be a source of strength and inspiration for him daily, especially when he is facing challenges.
Whenever Boy feels stressed, whether because of issues at work or he's late for an important meeting due to heavy traffic, I always remind him of this wisdom from St Francis de Sales,
"Never be in a hurry. Do everything in a quiet and calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace whatsoever even when your whole world seems upset."
2. Pray for Him
In the morning before I get up, I lay my hand on his head while he sleeps and I pray that God will bless him to be the person He created him to be. I also pray that Our Lord will lead him to be the best father that our children can ever have. I ask God to always give Boy the wisdom to make the right decisions for our family that will bring us closer to fulfilling God's plans for us. I also ask Our Blessed Virgin Mother to pray for this man whom I love so much to do his work well and that she will cover him with Her mantle of protection from all danger and harm.
Somehow he feels the power of Holy Spirit coming down upon him such that he will change position once I finish my prayer. I will then wake him up with a tight embrace.
3. Trust God and Trust Him
It is very important for our husband to feel that we trust him and we respect his decisions.
I recognise Boy's position as the leader of our family and I fully support his every decision, while I also voice out my own opinion. We listen to each other's own perspective of our situation and we agree on how we will handle it. Sometimes our decision does not give the result that we expected, but I never put the blame on him nor do I say "I told you so". I trust that God will empower him to make the right judgement as I watch him flourish and grow as the head of our family.
4. Teach Your Children to Respect their Father
When their dad arrives home, our children and I will drop everything that we are doing to welcome him at the door with a warm hug and a tender kiss. Our boys will get his right hand to their forehead to receive his blessing.
I also share with our children his accomplishments and sacrifice for the family so that they will look up to him as their model and guide.
5. Make Your Home a Place of Warmth and Peace
Keep your home in order so he can rest and be recharged after a tiring day.
I sew some curtains, sofa and chair covers to create a relaxing atmosphere in our home.
He loves the lingering smell of my freshly baked bread or cookies even before entering our house. The whole family enjoy this healthy treat everyday as we make our own and hardly buy any commercial bread.
6. Create a Sweet Traditional Couple Routine
Every morning before he goes to work, we will exchange wedding rings as we each say, "Wear this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life." And then we will kiss like there is no tomorrow.
During the day, we exchange phone messages or call each other to check what we each had for lunch.
I always say "I love you" before he goes to work, before we hang up the phone, or end a text message and before we sleep, and he returns it to me with all sincerity. Through the years, it has become spontaneous that he usually says it first.
Even if your husband is not sweet and demonstrative of his affection for you, he can learn it if you show him how. It will just take some time.
7. Do Simple Acts of Thoughtfulness
Make him feel that he is the most important person in your life.
When is he is very busy working or deep in thought at home, I will sometimes offer him a bowl of ice cream, or a glass of juice, or simply a glass of cold water to brighten his spirit.
I also carry some food to nibble in the car whenever we are going out. I just ask him to open his mouth while he is driving and I pop in some surprises from my Mary Poppin's bag full of chocolates, cookies that I baked, cut fruits, nuts or our favorite chips.
8. Spoil and pamper him
I share my own facial products with him. I wash his face and apply on him my toner and moisturisers every night to make him feel relaxed after a stressful day. This has become our nightly routine that even I myself am able to relax when I do this, as we listen to each other's stories of our day, our dreams and plans for the future, no matter how late it is.
On weekends when I indulge on a facial mask myself, I reuse the other side of the mask on him afterwards, even if it hardly covers his whole face. I find this a very efficient and creative way to bond and to make him feel special.
When we offer humble and thoughtful acts of tender loving care to our husband, lifting him up to God in prayer, giving him the respect he deserves, making him number one in our heart, and spoiling and pampering him as we serve his needs and simple whims, he becomes more inspired and empowered to stand up as a strong leader of our family.
He will love, treasure, cherish and fix his eyes more on his wife, that most precious jewel God has ever given to him!
May God bless your marriage to last forever in bliss as you try to outdo each other in thoughtful, humble, selfless, sacrificial, unconditional and sweet loving!
Originally Published July 13, 2015 on
Doods' WIX Site - Wisdom, Virtues & Inspiration