Originally Published July 2, 2015 on
Doods' WIX Site - Wisdom, Virtues & Inspiration
Every parent dreams of a healthy family relationship where children grow up having close ties with one another.
One of our greatest accomplishment as parents is that our three children, Niel, Ezekiel, and Gabriel get along with one another extremely well.
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Despite their big age gap, (with Niel and Ez more than three years apart, while Ez and Gab are more than two years apart), they grew up doing things together, whether reading, playing, watching tv, or sleeping. Niel was always the caring big brother. Ezekiel is the sweet middle child who looked up to Niel as his older brother and at the same time adored Gab as his baby brother. Gab is our angel, the apple of our eyes who respects his two older brothers, but displayed his own strengths. There was no envy nor jealousy among themselves as they had clearly defined roles and we never favored anyone at the expense of another.

We taught them simplicity. They were very proud to use hand-me-downs from their their dad and older brother, from clothes, bags, toys, books and even cellular phones when they were old enough to have it.
Unlike other children, they are generally peaceful and calm. Yes, they played pranks at one another, but they hardly quarreled. Whenever they have issues that arise from teasing, no sooner do they get together and forget their hurts, that I never had to intervene. They just cannot bear to remain away from each other carrying long faces.
When they were old enough to sleep in a separate room from us at night, they shared one bedroom with three beds side by side, where they can whisper, tickle, giggle and at the same time feel secured. On weekends and school holidays, we allowed them to have time to exchange stories after our night prayer. Many a times their dad and I will hear their rolling laughter from our own room and then there will be silence. When we check on them, we see smiles on their faces as they fall asleep.

It is in their room where we have our nightly Family Prayer in front of an altar. This is where their dad and I bless each of them before we tuck them into bed. We trace the sign of the cross with Holy Water on their foreheads, and lay our hands on their heads as we say
"Dear Lord, please bless Niel, Ezekiel and Gabriel. Watch them while they sleep and fill them with your love that will overflow to one another. Fill their hearts with the power of your Holy Spirit so that everything they do will be pleasing to You".
When they were younger, we used to bless their senses as we traced the sign of the cross with Holy Water on their eyes and pray that they will see Jesus in others; their ears that they will always hear the voice of God; their lips that they will speak the Word of God; their hands that they will offer everything they will do to God; their feet that they will follow the right path towards Christ.
To them, it was like playing, as they loved to feel the holy water on their skin. Later on we discovered that this is a practice in the church when we witnessed the Rite of Acceptance into the Order of Catechumens at our Parish.
We believe in the power of the cross to overcome the sting of the evil spirit. As what happened to St Benedict, when he raised his hand to bless a glass of poisoned wine, it shattered into pieces, as if the "holy gesture was like a stone thrown against it". Hence the sign of the cross on their foreheads serve as a mantle of protection from all danger and harm.
Surely, these prayers are not magic words that will transform them to be saints. But when they constantly hear these words from their parents in prayer, it will find a place in their innermost being such that when they reach a situation where it is difficult to love and do what pleases us and God, it will constantly echo in their hearts for them to find the strength to fight the temptation to do otherwise.
We always tell them real stories of our own childhood and families. Boy & I narrate how we grew up with our own brothers and sisters, our struggles when we lost our own father and how we helped one another in our own family to rise above our situation. Through these stories and by the way we relate with our siblings on some occasions that we gather together, they learn the value of a close family relationship.
This room is also their place of refuge if they needed quiet time to reflect whenever Boy & I discipline them. They comfort one another here and decide their strategies on how they can win a favor from us. They become allies, protecting each other, thereby boosting their bond as blood brothers.
When we give children their own space to be together, to pray and to play, they feel a sense of ownership and belonging that unites them as they take charge of their shared territory, strengthening their bond with one another.
May God bless your children to keep a close, loving and caring relationship!